I hope she doesn't have to see what became of her family

It's weird how something like, my car breaking down can make me feel like such a lazy bum again. I woke up at 1:30 in the afternoon, watched an episode of Pokemon, then an episode of Malcolm in the Middle, and then I showered. Oh, and I ate leftover pizza and ice cream.

That's pretty much how my day went yesterday, except I didn't watch Pokemon.

So I finally saw that movie, the Bridge to Teribithia (I'm not sure if that's the correct spelling). Why did no one tell me that that movie was so fucking sad? I wasn't prepared to cry my fucking eyes off. So what do I do? Watch it again, and cry my eyes out again.

It's like The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. I rented it one night and I'm like, "yeah! A happy movie about pants!"

Why did no one tell me that it was so fucking sad?! Why did no one inform me that I'd cry my fucking eyes out? They should have some kind of warning at the beginning of the movie: Warning, the content of this film may cause some viewers to cry their fucking eyes out.

I asked my dad yesterday if he'd drive me to work for today, and he said no. Instead, he said, "take your mother's car." If any of you know anything about my mother's car, then you'd realize how ridiculous this suggestion was. Not only is my mother's car a fucking boat, but can't go over 50 miles an hour. Now, the speed limit on the two-way is 55, and I typically go around 70 mph on it. This would not have worked out.

So instead, I called David's Bridal last night and told them that I was unable to make it to work. My paycheck is going to suck so bad.

Jessica wants me to go with her to church tonight. Now, if you know me at all, you'd know that I'm an atheist. Yet, despite that, I'm actually considering going, just so I can have something to fucking do. Last time that I was bored enough to go to any kind of church function, it was with Jennifer and her parents to a swim party over the summer. I nearly got into a fight with her cousin about homosexuality.

The conversation went a little something like this:

Church Girl: "So like, I was in Barnes and Noble once, and this guy was wearing make-up."
*long pause*
Moi: "...And?"
Church Girl: "He was like, gay."
*another long pause*
Moi: "...And?"
Church Girl: "Well, all of us here belive in god and know that being a fag is wrong."

It took a lot of will power to not have a throw down in the deep end. For one, if you're SO big and above homosexuals, then why do you have to stoop down to a level to go so far as to call someone a "fag" when you know that that's the equivelant of calling someone a "nigger?"

I just can't stand people being so ignorant to things like that. This is one of the reasons why I do not want to attend church with Jessica, but I'm pretty much desperate to be around other human beings.

Plus, I asked her if we could go somewhere else afterward to help me forget about the whole experience.

Now, mind you, I'm not anti-religion. I think it's good that some people have religion, because they need it. I just don't. I'm not against anything, I just don't believe in it. I can't base my entire life around some god that I can't believe exists. I didn't "lose my faith," because I never had any to begin with. That doesn't mean that there's something wrong with me, and no, I don't have all of the answers. I don't know what happens to us when we die, but I do love the idea of reincarnation. That'd be cool. Nick explained to me the whole of ideas of reincarnation once, when I was horribly suicidal. Surprisingly enough, it did cheer me up.

Well, if I do end up going to a church tonight, I'll update about it later.